さようなら- Sayonara

Dear myself, please dont forget what's your feels now,

6 years journey finally arrived at its destination. Stopped. 6 years, 2 years plus 4 years through thick thin apa semua dont tell me its easy to forget. impossible. Even aku yang jenis bukan kisah sangat pun jadi kisah isu sentimental. Idk how to put my emotions onto words especially when it comes to compressed everything happened in 4 years. 

4 years of tears, laugh, experiences, I saw myself changing, We saw our self changing. Without we realized, the unseen thread between us strangled and we stuck to each other for four years. and now its finally end. 

At first mmg happy gila sebab dah habis, credit pun clear, lagi2 dah hantar hardbind. sampai ke akhir, nothing going smoothly. This route was crazy as hell, was tired, was sad, alone, full of negative thought, always wanted to give up, full with cried and tears, full with crap maki makian, full with sangka buruk sesama sendiri, full with mengumpat, full with salahkan diri sendiri dan orang lain, depressed, and nothing going right. everything was wrong.This route. 

But still, all these things happened make me realized, betul kata orang, walaupun hujan, tapi pelangi keluar lepastu langit cantik, like no matter how hard life, lepastu ada keindahan dia. But I enjoyed rain. who cares about pelangi yang always comes to meet you after pouring rain, after you struggled hard redah hujan. But actually hujan is soothing , give you the best moment of feelings. give you the best relaxed moment. Give you the biggest rahmat that we never know, that why doa mustajab bila hujan, not after raibow comes out isnt it?  

Ahh, its too sad. Im speechless. Im so in the bottom of my sadness now. it is almost 9.5/10 of my sadness. Stressed. I really missed them, but I dont want to return, I need to move on. Need to move forward. What to do. Dah habis. 

Dah habis. tu je boleh cakap sekarang. 

Now im asking myself, can I meet these bunch of people again? and would the feeling stay the same? and would our conversation still in the same tempo? would our stupid joke will acceptable again? would our laugh still honest and sincere? and would they looked at me the same as they look me before?

Then I though that we are not breathing the same atmosphere anymore. ahh benci, selalu ada saja ayat aku nak goreng sebab sedih. ni sebab sedih sangat tak tahu nak buat ayat apa. Sebak jugak, tak tahu apa yang sedih. 

Rasa macam baru je aku complaint sebab nak tukar kos, Tapi rasa macam skejap sangat masa berlalu, aku pun teruskan aje. sebab aku tahu ada kawan2 yang boleh support aku, kita mula start langkah tu sama sama, masing2 curious, masing2 nervous, masing2 takut, masing2 byk benda tak tahu, masing2 nak explore banyak benda. Sebab tu dalam perjalanan tu ada jatuh bangun. Apa lagi kita dalam fasa baru nak membesar, apa yang aku lalui ni lah, siapa bersama aku ni lah yang membuatkan aku jadi aku sekarang. Kalau fikirkan balik, masa kita lalui tu langsung tak terasa, masa dah takde ni lah baru nak terasa. terasa macam semuaa hikmah yang aku tertanya-tanya sepanjang aku lalui pjalanan yang aku sendiri ragu2 dah terjawab. Terjawab hampir. 

Termasuk kisah paling tak boleh lupa, kisah yang paling myayat hati, kisah paling sedih paling tragis, Kadang ingat aku lalui semua benda sorg, aku slalu merepek meroyan kata aku sorang2 takde org nak support aku, padahal kawan ada blakang aku. Ada bahu aku boleh pinjam, ada tangan aku boleh capai, ada telingaa yg boleh dengar aku.

Bila terfikir, masa intern haritu, dah kerja serious lonely kalau sorang2, dengan kerja yang buat hal masing masing, dah lah baru kenal. Tak borak hal peribadi sangat. Jatuh bangun apa semua tak tahu, limitasi kat situ. Mana aku nak cari kawan yang mcm dorg ni. walaupun mmg dorg mulut jahat. suka ngumpat , tp aku kena stick ngan dorg, *kesat ayaq mata sambil gelak*

Demit, sedih betul. sekarang mmg aku percaya kata2 senior,zaman degree lah paling best seumur hidup , takkan boleh lupa. 

Kirameki- Sparkle.

your lie in April

落ち込んでた時も　気がつけば笑ってる 

二人なら　世界は息を吹き返した 

いつもの帰り道　足音刻むリズム 
雨上がり　街を抜けてゆく風の優しい匂い 

同じ時間を分け合いながら　二人で過ごせた奇跡を 
これから先も繋げたいんだ　ちゃんと目を見て伝えたい 

つないでいたい手は　君のものだったよ 
握り方で何もかもを伝え合える　その手だった 
他の誰でもない　君じゃなきゃだめだよ 
いつまでもそばにいたいと思えた 

振り返ってみても　いないのは分かってる 
なのにまた　名前呼ばれた気がして　見渡してみる 

角を曲がれば　歩幅合わせた　あの頃に戻れるような 
桜のアーチ　今はその葉を　オレンジに染めてるけど 

咲かせたい笑顔は　君のものだったよ 
街彩る木々のように　綺麗な赤い　その頬だった 
思い出が舞い散る　こみ上げる想いを 
どこまでも遠い空へと　飛ばした 

聞いていたい声は　君のものだったよ 
耳を伝い体中を包むような　その声だった 
出会いから全てが　かけがえのない日々 
いつまでもこの胸にあるよ　ありがとう

Even if we're feeling down, we'd smile once we realize,

That as long as we're together, our world would come to life once again

 The rhythm of our footsteps, as we walked our usual way home,

And the scent an occasional breeze brings after a rainy day

The times we spent together, and the miracles we created,

I want to convey all these feelings; hoping I can always be with you

  

Those hands of yours, are what I wish to hold most,

For we can share our feelings, as long as we try

I want to be by your side, and not just any other person's,

For you're irreplaceable in my heart, forever and always.

  

You're no longer here by my side, I'm well aware of that

Even then, I glanced back once more, thinking that you called out to me

And the sakura flowers at the arch we used to frequent,

Makes me feel like we could return to the past, even though they're now tinted in orange

  

All I wanted to see is your smile,

And have your beauty colour my world in pastel once more

Recalling the memories that welled up inside me,

I let out my feelings, hoping they'll reach out to you far away

  

All I want to hear is your voice,

And have it resonate undulatingly throughout me once more

And the times we spent together, are all irreplaceable in my heart

I'll treasure these memories you gave me, so thank you,

 and good bye.

Sayonara,

Artsigno.