.:My Dearest friends:.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Destroy Fear part 2

huh....Tired to type all of these....
never mind, as long it give us benefits, i will share with you
nowadays, soo many la assigment, there still a lots of homework
thant i not done yet...haih~whatever.
the holiday just left about 3  days more. huaaa..~
nothing to say.

owh...this tips i found really benefit and useful for myself
especially for the leaders or manager.
hurm...also this tips for be the excellent student..insyaAllah.

put your effort  first !

3 )  Walk 25 per cent  faster.  Watching people walk and move about become real fun. It was a lot cheaper  than the movies (which was on of the reasons  I learned later that mother developed the game and it was a lot more constructive.

I still am a walk-watcher. In corridors, lobbies, on sidewalks I still occasionally find my self studying human behavior simple by watching people move about.

Psychologist  link slovenly postures and sluggish walking to unpleasant attitudes towards oneself , work  and  the people around us. But psychologist   also tell us you can actually change your attitude  by changing your posture and speed of movement. Watch, and you discover that  body action is the result  of mind action . 

The extremely beaten people, the real down-and-outers, just shuffle and stumble along.  They have zero self-confidence.

Average people have the average walk. Their pace is “average” . they have  the look of “ I really don’t have  very much  pride in myself”
Then there’s a third group. Persons in this group show super-confidence. They walk faster than the average. There seems to be a slight sprint in the way they walk.  Their walk tells the world. “I’ve  got someplace important to go, something important to do . What’s more  , I will succeed at what I will do 15 minute from now. “

Use the walk-25-per-cent-faster technique to help build self-confidence  . throw your shoulders back, life up your head, move ahead just a little faster and feel self-confidence grow.  JUST TRY AND SEE.

4 ) practices speaking up. In working with many kind of groups of all sizes, I’ve  watched many persons with  keen perception and much native ability freeze and fail to participate in discussion , It isn’t that these folks don’t want to get in and wade with the rest.  Rather, it’s a simple lack of confidence.  The conference clam think to himself , “My opinion is probably worthless . if I say something I’ll probably look foolish . I’ll just say nothing. Besides , the others in the group  probably know more than I. I don’t want the others to know how ignorant I am “.

Each time the conference clam fails to speak, he feels even more inadequate, more  inferior . often  he makes a  faint promise to himself (that down deep he knows he won’t keep)  to speak “Next time”.

This is very important : each time our clam fails  to speak, he takes one more dose of confidence poison. He becomes less and less confident of himself.
But on the positive side, the more you speak up , the more add to your  confidence, and the easier it is to speak up next time , speak up ! it’s a confidence building vitamin.

Put this confidence builder to use . make it a rule to speak up at every open meeting you attend . speak up , say something voluntary at every business   conference , committee meeting , community forums you attend. Make no exception . comment ,make a suggestion ,ask a question , and don’t be the last to speak . try to be the ice-breaker, the first one in with  a comment .

And never worry about looking foolish . you won’t. for each person who doesn’t  agree with you . odds are another person will. Quit asking yourself , “I wonder if I dare speak?”

5 ) Smile big. Most folks  have heard at one time or another that a smile will give them a real boost. They’ve been rold that a smile  is excellent medicine for confidence deficiency. But lots of people still don’t  really believe this because they’ve never tried smiling when their feel fear.

Make this little test, try to feel defeated and smile big at the same time . you can’t , A big smile gives you confidence . A big smile beats fear, rolls away worry defeats despondency.

And a real smile does more than cure just your ill feeling. A real smile melts away opposition  of others-and instantly ,too. Another person simply can’t be angry with you if you give him a big, sincere smile. Just  the other day , a little incident happened to me that illustrates this. I was parked at an intersection waiting for the 
light to change when BAM! The driver  behind me let his foot slip the brake and put my rear bumper to a test. I looked back through my mirror and saw him getting out. 

I got out, too. And forgetting a rule book , started preparing myself for verbal  combat. I confess I was ready verbally to bite him to piece.

But, fortunately , before I got this chance , he walked up to me , smiled and said in the most earnest voices , “ Friend, I really didn’t mean to do that” that smile matched with his sincere comment, melted me. I mumbled something about “that’s okay. Happens all the time .” almost in less time than it takes to wink an eye, my  opposition turned into friendship.

Smile big and you feel like “happy dats are here again” but smile big . a half-developed smile is not fully guaranteed. Smile until your teeth show . that large-size smile is fully guaranteed. I’ve heard many times, “ yes, but when I fear something , or when I’m angry. I  don’t feel like smiling.”

Of course you don’t , no one does. The trick is to tell yourself forcefully , “ I’m going to smile” .

Then smile

Harness the power of smiling.

            1.Action cures fear . isolate your fear and then take constructive action . inaction –doing  nothing about a situation –strengthens  feat  and destroys confidence.
      2.Make a supreme effort to put only positive thought in your memory bank. Don’t  let negative self-deprecatory thought grow  into mental monsters. Simply refuse to recall unpleasant  event or situations.

3.     3.Put people in proper perspective. Remember people are more alike , much more alike, than they are different. Get a balanced view of the other fellow. He is just another human being. And develop an understanding attitude. Many people will bark, but it’s  a rare one that bites.
      4.Practice doing what your conscience tell you is right. This prevents a poisonous  guilt complex from developing . doing  what’s right is a very practical rule for success.
      5. Make everything about you say. “I’m  confident, really confident .” practice these little techniques is your day-to-day activities.
a)     Be a “ front seater”
b)     Make eye contact
c)     Walk 25 per cent faster
d)     Speak up
e)     Smile big.

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"wahai orang-orang yang beriman, Mengapa kamu mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak kamu kerjakan?" "Allah sangat benci jika kamu mengatakan sesuatu yang tidak kamu kerjakan" Assoff:2-3