hantu masuk kereta

Sejak dah update entry beberapa hari lalu, perasaan nak berkongsi dan memberi pandangan tu macam lagi membuak-buak. Its not like aku tak bagi pandangan kat twitter, but twitter is so short, and aku harus aware dengan kata-kata supaya tak terguris perasaan sapa-sapa. Ah, aku tak berapa suka skali kalau terasa2 kat twitter ni, tak kisah lah alam maya lah. Blog lain, sbb dah tak ramai sangat nak baca. But then, kalau korang baca, then you’re lucky enough. I don’t expect lah people nak baca dan terasa kat sini. Blog is too private when it comes to stories and whatever opinion. Btw. It’s not easy nak tulis panjang-panjang. Memenatkan. Last entry took four days. Ha ha ha. Tak campoq lagi dengan berjimba bagai.

Finally, dalam masa beberapa hari lagi aku akan start internship. Entah lah, tak expect apa apa. Malas. Sebab nanti takut tak best pulak kalau expect mcm2. Orang kata expect the worst case scenario kan? Erm. Im just prepare my mind to bkerja as hard as I can. InsyaAllah. Pape hal, nnti aku cerita pasal pengalaman internship aku. It’s my choice. aku terus buat keputusan tanpa fikir. Selalu macam tu, lepastu drag Nada skali. Gomen! Whatever it is. We promised each other to tolerate whatever circumstances.

Refer to the title, Iam gonna share about car’s conversation. Tak tahu nak luahkan kat siapa, sebab kadang kadang aku pun tak pasti dengan perasaan aku. I might change after I said anything. Contoh macam. Aku cakap, aku suka kalau orang berterus terang dengan aku. But end up aku rasa aku tak boleh tolerate pulak. Dehell. So mcm tu lah antara sebabnya takut nak bagi pandangan. Tapi for certain people aku rasa boleh. Sebab kadang2 aku rasa macam tercarried away dengan mood or situation, hence everything is actually depends on your mood and situation. Geeh. Dasar 

takdak pendirian. Ibarat daun mati *refer previous post*

Aku rasa semua orang rasa kot benda ni, have you guys been in a journey dengan kereta, and have like long-and-deep conversation with your friends or family ke? Yes. It is. Kannnn? I mean like, rasa macam berbeza sangat bila berborak dalam kereta. Everytime bila aku drive, kita akan rasa nak berborak dan share benda-benda yang jarang kita share. Or most likely being honest about almost everything. Yelah, some people might say not. For some people mcm Hafizahramdan ni, memang sangat rasa.

This evening I had conversation with my dad. I rarely talk to my dad berdua. Ada lah tapi jarang. Selalu bila kat meja makan dan umi ada sekali. Kitorang jarang berjumpa. Family yang jarang berjumpa dan jarang berborak, macam nil ah. Sebab tu aku suka berjemah. Bercakap. Berborak dan sharing thought dengan orang. Suka sangat lah. Melainkan kalau aku exhausted or feeling awkward, anyhow still aku suka dengar orang bercakap. Eh. Semua orang pun macam tu. But doesn’t mean aku ni pendengar yang baik. Maksudnya. So it’s happen bila abah mintak drive ke UMP Gambang, which is about 45minutes from home.   I don’t really want to say this but, I realized something that people might change their opinion and their thought when they were driving. Yappari. I caught that. Asking for nak bawak kereta during internship. Sebelum ni pernah bincang dah dengan abah, abah kata “bawak moto jelah. Rumah sewa dekat je kan…” zzz. I have been thinking for a few months la jugak how to manage pakai motor kat kawasan puchong. Then, I try my luck today. Yeah. Apparently abah change his mind to “boleh kot, cuba tengok kalau jalan tu lagi senang nak cilok2 bawak jela moto. Kalau mcam bahaya. Bawak kereta jelah, lagipun kau lessen pun takde.”

Is not that aku percaya “car’s conversation” REALLY bring that decision. Ha ha . I just found that car’s talk, is actually a very comfortable position to have such conversation. Perhaps because we don’t see each other face? Mungkin jugak. Sebab cakap kalau tengok muka ni menyampah kadang-kadang. Walaupun actually aku lebih suka kalau aku bercakap atau orang bercakap aku tengok kat mata dia, means that aku pay attention. (but sometimes I might tenggelam dalam mata orang…..) w. e. i. r. d.  Anyway.

Car’s talk memang boleh jadi sangat long discussion until both of you exhausted or arrived kat destination. We tend to speak about random things. or we might talk about benda yang dah lama kita simpan dalam kepala kita. Or any lingering feeling yang dah lama berlegar-legar. No matter who you are with. Call me lame, but I do really ship this car’s talk. kadang-kadang masa ni lah nak ubah Negara. Nak tanam cita-cita tinggi lah , nak kerja tu. Nak kerja ni. Berangan dan macam macam lagi lahhhhhh

Teringat dulu, don’t remember exactly when, tapi pernah teman umi pergi Terengganu, which umi drive pergi aku drive balik. And I was really have honest confession back then. Cerita everything, about loads that I carried heavily on my shoulder, and amazingly mom was not mad or upset (not sure). Of course, hati manusia itu Allah yang pegang. Somehow this is what I think. Allah control hati manusia, and it happen it change often bila orang tengah drive. You see, we tend to get know people better bila dia tengah drive. Im not gonna say it is the “true color” because people change. But I might say that is their self. Ah. Wakaranai~~~

Aku perasan, aku akan cepat moody kalau aku drive not because of my purpose. Maksudnya aku bawak orang lah. Well, that’s rude and that’s bad actually, but that it is. Bukan nak cakap tak ikhlas, somehow cepat rasa irritated. And that time aku kena handle perasaan elok-elok. Is not that aku tak suka bawak orang or tolong orang but somehow Temper aku kadang kadang tak boleh di terima orang. Let me tell you a story from a long time ago. (idk if I changed already…)

There was a time that I had to travel jauh (my first time driving to...jauh) I travel because I have to join satu program ni, I HAVE to, then ada beberapa orang yang join in my car. I HAVE to join because IHAVE car. That’s why, but everything okay lah. And I get annoyed when my co-pilot (org sit sebelah) , keep changing the radio channel, and talk too much. And cakap benda tak elok pasal orang (mengumpat) and yadaaa…yada…..  I was. Can’t help myself to stop her. And kitorang happened to gaduh during that journey. Lepastu senyap. Tak tahu nak rasa bersalah or what

Since that. I know. Lah yang I hate people touch the radio channel when I am driving. Well. That time lah. I became more tolerate bila dah besau. Then, I started to realized that, I hate to hear such curse and badmouthing about people dalam kereta. (Well if it goes continuously, I rather shut up, or I might join…..sikit-sikit boleh lah, not too much).  I can’t tolerate people who talk too much and don’t know when they gonna stop. My head hurts (if im driving, not as passenger). Tapi aku dah buat pengecualian. My friends. Now. Ah, jangan cakap lah si Nada tu, mmg byk ckp. But I don’t mind, I suka lah dengaq dia mbebel. Oh everyone does.  See. People changed isn’t it? Well, actually depends lah siapa dia dan attitude dia. Just don’t simply touch my radio channel, bila kau dengan aku tak rapat mana, sebab rasa mcm mendatu sangat personal touch. Hahahahah emo. Over!

Driving selalu buat orang jadi sensitive lebih daripada biasa. Kadang-kadang jadi orang lain. Kadang kadang jadi terlalu offensive dan aggressive. Kadang tetiba jadi “malaikat” kadang setan -_- Sebab tu lah orang kata kalau nak tahu perangai orang tu sebenar macam mana, travel dengan dia. Of course not sejam dua, it takes forever. Day 1 dia lain. Day 2 dia lain. Next next day dia lain.  But you will learn the ‘pattern’. Oh when she’s mad. Oh when she’s annoyed. And when she’s in a good mood and only want to listen to rock kapak’s songs. You just don’t simply get to know people sehari or skali naik kereta dengan dia. And it only happen at the front seat. And the pilot seat. Trust me. Try lah. Oh you knew already.

I will really suck at driving when I’m feeling anxious when im get over excited or nervous. Well, everybody does. But some people will manage. For example, bila crush-es naik kereta sekali, aku akan tetiba masuk line tak bagi signal, tiba2 kena hon banyak kali laaa pulaaaak. Saja ja la pulak TERkelihatan lemah dan bodoh disitu, Padahal aku ni perfect driver, or pemandu berhemah. Hahhaha. It just happen. Bukan saja saja buat. Lepastu aku suka sangat makan jajan sambil drive, oh and coffee,

Sapa yang dah biasa duduk dengan aku and travel sekali , maka dia kenal lah aku macam mana. Ha ha. Bersabau jelah yang bakal duduk ngan aku 5 bulan tu weh/

Aku selalu berangan, nanti bila aku dah kahwin, lepastu suami aku drive Ferrari berlinetta F12, aku nak tanya.

“sayang awk bleh drive satu tangan tak?”

“boleh..”

“Okay, nak tangan kiri…”

*holding his left hand, smpai ke destinasi*

*puke*

Satgi suami aku kata aku buang tebiat or “awak cheating eh/?” hahahhaahhaha.